Tag: Family

George Carlin’s Views on Aging

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Do you realize that the only time in our lives when we like to get old is when we’re kids? If you’re less than 10 years old, you’re so excited about aging that you think in fractions.
 
“How old are you?””I’m four and a half! “You’re never thirty-six and a half. You’re four and a half, going on five! That’s the key.
 
You get into your teens, now they can’t hold you back. You jump to the next number, or even a few ahead.
 
“How old are you?” “I’m gonna be 16!” You could be 13, but hey, you’re gonna be 16! And then the greatest day of your life . . You   become 21. Even the words sound like a ceremony .YOU BECOME 21 YESSSS!!!
 
But then you   turn 30. Oooohh, what happened there? Makes you sound like bad milk! He TURNED; we had to throw him out. There’s no fun now, you’re Just a sour-dumpling. What’s wrong? What’s changed?
 
You BECOME  21, you TURN 30, then you’re PUSHING 40. Whoa! Put on the brakes, it’s all slipping away. Before you know it, you  REACH 50 and your dreams are gone.
 
But wait!!! You MAKE it to 60. You didn’t think you would!
 
So you  BECOME 21,
                     TURN 30,
                     PUSH 40,
                  REACH 50,
                  and MAKE it to 60.
 
You’ve built up so much speed that you HIT 70!
After that it’s a day-by-day thing; you HIT Wednesday!
 
You get into your 80’s and every day is a complete cycle; you HIT lunch; you TURN 4:30; you REACH bedtime.
And it doesn’t end there. Into the 90’s, you start going backwards; “I Was JUST 92.”
 
Then a strange thing happens. If you make it over 100, you become a little kid again. “I’m 100 and a half!” May you all make it to a healthy 100 and a half!!
 
HOW TO STAY YOUNG
 
  1. Throw out nonessential numbers.This includes age, weight and height. Let the doctors worry about them. That is why you pay “them.”
 
  2. Keep only cheerful friends.The grouches pull you down.
 
  3. Keep learning. Learn more about the computer, crafts, gardening, whatever. Never let the brain idle. “An idle mind is the devil’s workshop” And the devil’s name is  Alzheimer’s.
 
  4. Enjoy the simple things.
 
  5. Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath.
 
  6.The tears happen. Endure, grieve, and move on. The only person, who is with us our entire life, is ourselves. Be ALIVE while you are alive.
 
  7. Surround yourself with what you love, whether it’s family, pets, keepsakes, music, plants, hobbies, whatever. Your home is your refuge.
 
  8. Cherish your health: If it is good, preserve it. If it is unstable, improve it. If it is beyond what you can improve, get help.
 
  9. Don’t take guilt trips.Take a trip to the mall, even to the next county; to a foreign country but NOT to where the guilt is.
 
10. Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity.
 
AND ALWAYS REMEMBER:
Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take,
but by the moments that take our breath away.
 
And if you don’t send this to at least 8 people- who cares?
But do share this with someone.

We all need to live life to its fullest each day!!
 

george-carlin-1
 
RIP 1937-2008

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Julie Andrews Turns 69

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To commemorate her birthday, actress/vocalist, Julie Andrews made a special appearance at Manhattan’s Radio City Music Hall for the benefit of the AARP.
One of the musical numbers she perform ed was ‘My Favorite Things‘ from the legendary movie ‘Sound Of Music‘. Here are the lyrics she used:
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(Sing It!)-If you sing it, its especially hysterical!!!

Maalox and nose drops and needles for knitting,
Walkers and handrails and new dental fittings,
Bundles of magazines tied up in string,
These are a few of my favorite things.

Cadillacs and cataracts ,and hearing aids and glasses,
Polident and Fixodent and false teeth in glasses,
Pacemakers, golf carts and porches with swings,
These are a few of my favorite things.

When the pipes leak, When the bones creak,
When the knees go bad,
I simply remember my favorite things,
And then I don’t feel so bad.

Hot tea and crumpets and corn pads for bunions,
No spicy hot food or food cooked with onions,
Bathrobes and heating pad s and hot meals they bring,
These are a few of my favorite things.

Back pain, confused brains and no need for sinnin’,
Thin bones and fractures and hair that is thinnin’,
And we won’t mention our short shrunken frames,
When we remember our favorite things.

When the joints ac he, When the hips break,
When the eyes grow dim,
Then I remember the great life I’ve had,
And then I don’t feel so bad.
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(Ms. Andrews received a standing ovation from the crowd that lasted over four minutes and repeated encores. Please share Ms. Andrews’ clever wit and humor with others who would appreciate it.)

YOU MUST KNOW ABOUT*77

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This was sent to me from a relative and thought you just might

need to know!

________________________

YOU MUST KNOW ABOUT*77
 
I knew about the red light on cars, but not the *77. It was about 1:00 p.m. in the afternoon, and Lauren was driving to visit a friend. An UNMARKED police car pulled up behind her and put his lights on. Lauren’s parents have always told her never to pull over for an unmarked car on the side of the road, but rather to wait until they get to a gas station, etc.
Lauren had actually listened to her parents advice, and promptly called *77 on her cell phone to tell the police dispatcher that she would not pull over right away. She proceeded to tell the dispatcher that there was an unmarked police car with a flashing red light on his rooftop behind her. The dispatcher checked to see if there were police cars where she was and there weren’t, and he told her to keep driving, remain calm and that he had back up already on the way.
Ten minutes later 4 cop cars surrounded her and the unmarked car behind her. One policeman went to her side and the others surrounded the car behind. They pulled the guy from the car and tackled him to the ground. The man was a convicted rapist and wanted for other crimes.
I never knew about the *77 Cell Phone Feature, but especially for a woman alone in a car, you should not pull over for an unmarked car. Apparently police have to respect your right to keep going to a safe &quiet place. You obviously need to make some signals that you acknowledge them (i.e. put on your hazard lights) or call *77 like Lauren did.
Too bad the cell phone companies don’t generally give you this little bit of wonderful information.

*Speaking to a service representative at
** Bell** Mobility confirmed that *77 was a direct link to state trooper info. So, now it’s your turn to let your fr iends know about *77.
Send this to every woman (and person) you know; it may save a life.This applies to ALL 50 states.

This is FRoZeN

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Beautiful Pictures received in an E-Mail!

The water froze the instant the wave broke through the ice. That’s what it is like in Antarctica where it is the coldest weather in decades. Water freezes the instant it comes in contact with the air. The temperature of the water is already some degrees below freezing.  Just look at how the wave froze in midair.

 

 HAVING THE INTERNET  MEANS THAT AT LEAST ONCE A WEEK, I GET TO SEE SOMETHING THAT I NEVER IMAGINED.  

Do You Like ~ Spaghetti!

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Fideos and other Italian dishes are features o...
Image via Wikipedia

SPAGHETTI… …

A wealthy man was having an affair with an Italian woman for several
years. One night, during one of their rendezvous, she confided in
him that she was pregnant. Not wanting to ruin his reputation or his
marriage, he would pay her a large sum of money, if she would go to
Italy to secretly have the child.
If she stayed in Italy to raise the child, he would also provide
child support until the child turned 18.

She agreed, but asked how he would know when the baby was born. To
keep it discrete, he told her to simply mail him a post card, and
write “Spaghetti” on the back. He would then arrange for child
support payments to begin.

One day, about 9 months later, he came home to his confused wife.
His wife said, “Honey, you received a very strange post card today.”

“Oh, just give it to me and I’ll explain it,” he said. The wife
handed him the card, and watched as her husband read the card,
turned white and collapsed.

On the card was written: “Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti. Two with
meatballs, one without! Request bread…

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