Tag: Speed limit

LADY DRIVERS OVER 50!?

MothersHeart2 Comments

A mature (over 50) lady gets pulled over for speeding..
Older Woman: Is there a problem, Officer?
Officer: Ma’am, you were speeding.
Older Woman: Oh, I see.
Officer: Can I see your license please?
Older Woman: I’d give it to you but I don’t have one.
Officer: Don’t have one?
Older Woman: Lost it, 4 years ago for drunk driving.
Officer: I see..Can I see your vehicle registration papers please.

Older Woman: I can’t do that.
Officer: Why not?

Older Woman: I stole this car.
Officer: Stole it?
Older Woman: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner.
Officer: You what?

Older Woman: His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you want to see

The Officer looks at the woman and slowly backs away to his car and calls for back up. Within minutes 5 police cars circle the car. A senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun.

Officer 2: Ma’am, could you step out of your vehicle please!The woman steps out of her vehicle.
Older woman: Is there a problem sir?
Officer 2: One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner.
Older Woman: Murdered the owner?

Officer 2: Yes, could you please open the trunk of your car, please.

The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty trunk.
Officer 2: Is this your car, ma’am?
Older Woman: Yes, here are the registration papers.
The officer is quite stunned.
Officer 2: One of my officers claims that you do not have a driving license.
The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a clutch purse and hands it to the officer.
The officer examines the license. He looks quite puzzled.
Officer 2: Thank you ma’am, one of my officers told me you didn’t have a license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked up the owner.
Older Woman: Bet the liar told you I was speeding, too.

Don’t Mess With Mature Ladies
If you want to brighten someone’s day, pass this on to someone you know who likes a chuckle.
I just did!

Good – Better – Best

MothersHeartLeave a comment

GOOD
In Warwick, a Rhode Island State Trooper was running
radar. He had a  perfect spot to watch for speeders,
but wasn’t  getting any. Then he discovered the problem.
A 12 year old boy was  standing up the road with a hand
painted sign which read ‘RADAR TRAP  AHEAD!’ The
officer later found a young accomplice down the road
with a sign reading,’TIPS’ and a bucket full of money.
(Beats a lemonade  stand!)

BETTER
A motorist was mailed a picture of his  car speeding
through an automated radar post in Cranston, RI   A
$40.00 speeding ticket was included. Being cute, he
sent the  police department a picture of$40.00.   The
police responded  with another mailed photo of
handcuffs.

BEST
A  young woman was pulled over in Providence, RI
for speeding. As the RI  State Trooper walked to her car
window, flipping open his ticket book,  she said, ‘I bet
you are going to sell me a ticket to the Rhode  Island
State Police Ball.’ He replied, ‘ RI State Troopers
don’t  have balls.’  There was a moment of silence
while she smiled and he  realized what he’d just said.
He then closed his book, got back in his  patrol car and
left.   She was laughing too hard to start her  car.